First of all. This is not a marriage advice since i am not better than you or a marriage expert! This is based on a personal experience . So take it as a personal advice if its helpful to you if not please leave it! 

 

firstly the way you are with your children will determin how they will be towards you when they leave the house to create their own.

 

I get it that in an african home the parents wants their children to grow knowing i am your god on earth.. this is my house.. what i say is the law... the kids grow up to fear you and thats not respect. 

 

Give kids space to feel free to tell you what they feel.. taje take to listen dont judge.

 

It will be a chame if you have to search for them later when they start their own on telling you if something is wrong to know that they always come to you when they actually have not bein raised that way.

 

When i got got with my man i heard people both relatives and friends telling me ; be careful.. dont give a 100% you never know with men.. always be on your guard... be careful with what he does he might leave you with the kids ect... men come and go but family stay. Friends stays.. be more with us.. 

 

This is 5 reason according to me why you should not tell a new wedd this things.

 

1. You make her feel insecure.

 

She start thinking.. am i not good enough... does he really love me?  Will he leave me for real.. you create  fear in her because she become unsure of her marriage of him. Fear leads to many thing. With fear you can destroy something beautiful. 

 

2. Lost trust

 

She can not or she will have diffilcuties trusting him. 

Even deep down she knows he was where he said.. he did what he said because of fear she will have trouble beliving and trusting him. If you do not have trust it will be very hard to have a peaceful marriage because youll have to question every move abd everything else.

She would feel the need to know who he is talking to on social media. Why he as a password on the phone oeär why he didnt pick her call the first time.

 

3. jealousy

 

Jealousy is a weapon that can kill dont get me wrong people can kill for less. She will be jealouse of him talking to other females or jealous of him talking avout a female or even looking at another female althou its not in a bad way.

 

4. Fighting.

All the above leads to constantly fighting. There is no peace. She is in fear of losing him of being hurt. She always on her guard . She doesnt want him to see her weak side. She always make herself look strong at all cost.

 

5. Divorce

 

Eventually all this may lead to divorce. If he was a good man.. did nothing wrong of the above all this will mead him to leave. 

 

Her fear of being left .. hurt will actually cause her to lose what she failes to see.!

 

Dont let anybody run you and your marriage. Build your home as 2 people becoming 1. . 

Go throu your problem fix it together.

 

Dont fear what you dont know and what you dont see. The future is unknow dont kive in fear of something that may or not may happend. 

Trust him and trust her and let the future happend!

 

As for me.. i have cut some people off because of this.. i was in fear everyday untill i realised that i was hurting nobody but me. Set yourself free.

I hope you liked this input.. if so pleaaase leave me a comment.. share with your friends and like 😚😚😚😚